Modchik and I discussed our reticence to see this differently. We reasoned that even if the laws changed, the dark side still lingered in the world (underworld) of Marijuana. Both of us, as adults, had rarely used Marijuana and therefore had relatively little experience with the current environment. The reality was that our perceptions were decades old, poured into us as teens and young adults. Neither of us had really taken time ever to thoughtfully consider the various aspects of Marijuana and society, let alone develop an independent opinion about such things.
What if?
The “what if?” continued to draw us in. IF it is legal and if we are uniquely positioned to take advantage of this, then would we?
Developing an independent opinion
I cannot speak for the inner process of Modchik; however, I can explain how I processed this matter. Society-at-large is defining the path for Marijuana, just as it has for alcohol, prescription drugs, gambling, sex and so many other vices. I am not on earth to fix the world (or have it line up with my opinion of how things should be). Rather, I am here to engage, nourish others, play a role in community, etc. - and part of that (like it or not) is earning an income within the construct of society. So, when I stood back without judgment, and considered options… small plot farming in Nor Cal seemed to suddenly fit within the framework of options. But how might I consciously consider this further, before stepping in?
Leaving the question of morality in the hands of society (via the laws established within democracy), I turned to the tight circle of my immediate family (the vortex for me) and asked if this could fit with Carrie and my young adult children, Dylan and Ben. Carrie would give me her own answer to that as she actively processed the same questions. But I had to decide on my own how I felt about taking on this profession, and remaining honorable in the eyes of my children. Further, I had to consider if this would negatively impact their lives - and if I even continue to hold that weight as a parent of grown children.
I concluded that, despite efforts at modeling a drug-free environment (our house has been dry for the better part of seven years), the kids have evolved their own relationship with drugs - mostly marijuana. I also feel that after twenty years of sacrifice and putting them first in just about everything, I am free to pursue a career, and it is in their hands to process and make what they will of it. I can provide context and explain motivation. The rest is up to them.
Another matter lurked, which was the judgement of family, friend and foe. I recognized that most people do not have a cultivated opinion about this, and any snap judgement is likely the result of historical, rooted ideas (the same ideas that prevented me from seeing this differently). I can’t change that and everyone is entitled to their opinion - be that a conscious opinion or not. When I consider how many careers are directly or indirectly tied to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, and other vices… and that most people have accepted those things (for better or worse), I realize that opinions are just that… and I can let them be.
Real magic in each of our career paths is rare. I'm referring to moments of real inspiration or creativity - where we know inside that what we are about to do is BIG and CERTAIN. I have felt that twice before in my life… as a young man coming out of college, I knew when I found the right opportunity. I engaged myself heartily in that path for eleven years. Again, at age 35, I was hit by the magic and I leaped the chasm to pursue it. It was a GREAT adventure that lasted for another eleven years. I’ve been largely idle and uninspired professionally for the last seven years. And this feels like a third moment of magic in my career path.
We watched our friend build his farm in California from October through April. We did research. I met with an attorney to ask detailed questions about California state and county laws. When it was all said and done, it was decision time. We chose to go forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment